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I've been struggling with the after-effects of my treatment, as well as the lingering trauma of having cancer, and the now strange way I relate to my body. Sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming.  And I know there are others out there who feel as I do....

and God keeps nudging me...

So, here is my best attempt to build a bridge, and I hope in the process to pass on what God has given me, to my son, my family, and you. We can prevent the catastrophe that is cancer. You know the saying...an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure? It's worth so much more than that.

Welcome, friends.

Writer's pictureLibby Palmer-Torres

Refine Me.

Updated: Jul 8, 2018

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately...

Trying to remind myself that having a perspective of gratitude changes how I see every hurdle and painful mountain. It's the only way I've gotten through the last 2 years, after cancer. When I remind myself of what God has already done for me, it becomes impossible to wallow in self-pity.

But recently, I've been thinking more about how He refines us. And that has made me look at gratitude differently. The bible makes it clear that we are refined, and made to look more like Jesus, through fire.

Through trial.

Through pain.

We are to welcome it. Not just endure, but count it as joy, since this is the ONLY way we can be refined.

James 1:2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

But what does that look like? 

God convicted me this past week that the stark changes I made in my lifestyle after cancer - understanding the relationship between the food we eat, the environment we create, the attitudes we carry, and the way our bodies are meant to function - was the refiner's fire. 

And it was certainly, unequivocally, and without a shred of doubt, a gift He bestowed on me.  

A crystal clear vision of my purpose.

And just as it's my purpose to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with anyone who will listen, this is my avenue to speak His truth also: to share what I've learned about the incredible gifts God gave us to nourish and heal our bodies.

Just as the truth is that I don't have to live in fear because of my sin, I don't have to live in fear of my body betraying me.  Just as the truth of Jesus is that I can embrace the forgiveness He offered because of the cross, the truth is that God loved us so much, He created everything we need to be healthy. 

The majesty of these gifts is overwhelming, as I continue to study the immense quantity of restorative and life-giving provisions He made with us in mind.

He knew what we'd need. 

It's the most moving form of worship I can think of, to learn about and use His gifts to heal my body.

James 1:16-17 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above...

How could I not share that with others?

How could I ever allow such a gift, the actual refining of my sinful self, to be squandered?

To tuck it away, for fear of offending?

For fear of anything?

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?

Just as I can't ignore or discount the miraculous ways God has already intervened to save my marriage, my family and my life, I can't allow the gifts He's given through my cancer, to be kept in the dark, for any reason.

Sharing the gospel, so that all can see the love of Jesus Christ, is the only reason we're here. It comes from a place of pure gratitude for the salvation he's given me. I can't help but tell people...

And sharing what God has taught me, and made me, and continues to use me for, is how I show God's power at work in my life. AND, it's how I show Him gratitude for my refinement.

Gratitude is how I've survived so far, and it's the perspective He's called us to have. It's supposed to be about what He's done for me. 

And what better testimony of how much He loves us?




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